How Long Does It Take to Get Great Ranking on Google Search and Google Places

The headline blares:  "We will get you page 1 ranking on Google Places in 30 days or your money back!"  And the great thing about this headline is that it is not always a scam.  On a day to day basis, I suspect that I am able to meet that promise at least half the time.  So if this company is any good and is successful on every bakery in Bettendorf Iowa or piano teacher in Culver City CA, they will have 33% really satisfied customers who will recommend them highly.  For those they can't get, like maybe Miami lawyer or Computer Repair Los Angeles, they take the loss if the customer complains, or they talk the client into giving them more money.  Good gig, huh. 

So how long does it really take to get ranked on page one for Google Search?  How long does it take to rank number one on Google Places?  It is all about competition, and where you are starting.  If you are that Criminal Lawyer in Miami and you're website is five years-old, and you already rank 15 for criminal lawyer in Miami, a good SEO job should get you to page 1 pretty quickly.  Maybe even 30 - 60 days.  But what if you are currently at #500 or even #150.  It might take 120 days or longer to get to page 1.  What about number 1 on the page.  That might take a year for a competitive keyword in a competitive city. 

What has to be done to achieve these seemingly impossible rankings? 

• On page SEO has to be great.  Title Tags, Headlines, body copy, footer, links.  
• White hat back links have to be even better.  BBB, Chamber, AVVO, City Bar, State Bar for lawyers.  Other great links for others.
• Content on the website well written, original, with citations, pictures, and great navigation.
• User friendly website that keeps people on board.  Videos, interactive elements, attractive buttons and other elements to keep the visitor involved.
• Site map well constructed and loaded up to Google Webmaster Tools
• Constant evaluation of traffic and patterns to improve results.

What would you add to this list?  Did I get anything wrong?  Have you had any experiences, good or bad, with the folks who offer the guarantees?  Tell me your story in the comments. 

PS.  If they are all so good, how come I'm at the top of Google Places Expert, and numbers 1, 2, and 3 under secrets of Google Places.